Monica is…still laughing out loud.


I have been on a quest to find a new robe. You may be wondering what the picture above has to do with this. Well, It’s been a looooong search.

Before I would have gone to Bloomingdales & just called it a day, but since the money ain’t flowing anymore, I find myself bargain shopping in the most depressing places. It’s really cruel when you have become accustomed to shopping in certain stores & have to downgrade to save a penny. I will only allow myself an “old” luxury item here & there, but it’s hardly satisfying. I needed a robe badly since I had to retire “old faithful” due to overuse. The robe has become as important to my life as visiting gossip sites. They both comfort me on a bad day & I feel naked without them. The robe is my household uniform & a way to keep warm in this cold ass, uninsulated apartment. So, I figured I’d find a cheap one at Target, but they had stupid patterns & weren’t soft. Strike 1. There was a C- mall near Target & decided I had nothing else to lose but look. I hate going To Victoria’s Secret, but I figured they’d have some semi-decent robes. I was quickly attacked by a sales girl with hand lotion & a bottomless sales script. I couldn’t get away in time & I left the store smelling like a stripper. Strike 2. I was growing tired from walking through the shitty mall near Target, & just when I was gonna end the search, I saw Jc Penney. Score! I swear, everytime I walk into this store it never fails for a cheap laugh. I find this place mighty amusing. This place is an alternate universe stuck in the 80’s. The sales people are beyond horrible, the place smells terrible (more like pee), kids are always hiding between the racks, & I always find the scariest looking clothing. I didn’t find a robe at all, but I had to take a few pictures of these giant harnesses & polyester house suits. The old people shot me dirty looks as I chuckled loudly & my camera phone made the shutter sound. Hehe…


Monica is…apparently a senior citizen.


The fine folks at AARP sent me this in the mail the other day. I guess it’s kinda “cool” they want me to be apart of their club of senior food discounts, newsletters about bone density loss, & intimacy in your later-life. Shudder. How & why did they send this to me? Anyways, just in case your interested, hit up their web page ( Shit, I’m beginning to think they infiltrated my info through my frequent visits to Coco’s.

Monica is…wondering where vince vaughn from the 90’s went?

My birthday vege-fest is almost to an end, yet I happened to catch a brief moment of  “old school” on TBS. I usually stay away from anything that has those god-awful Wilson brothers, but I happen to have a soft spot for Will Ferrell & Vince Vaughn, err umm, I guess. While watching the movie, I noticed that I still visually hate Luke Wilson. The Wilson Brothers have these horribly distracting noses that fuck with me on certain angles. One moment its good then its wtf? Edgy, icky, yuck. Vince appears so bloated and unrecognizable that I sigh in complete disbelief. He no longer looks sexy & reminiscent of a 50’s heartthrob, but of a drug induced has-been, who somehow nailed Jennifer Aniston during her what seems like forever “pathetic stage”. Saggy under eyes & the doom of any mans existence: a receding hairline. ugg. So here are a few shots of an old Vince I once remembered…